I apologize for my being on hiatus for the last few weeks but with the upcoming arrival, I'm afraid my life has been one big leap at getting these house renos done in time! And my friends, time is running out! I am in the last month of my second trimester which means, four more months to go! But, it is exciting! We felt the baby moving by eighteen weeks, about a day after the ultrasound in which we got to see close up our little bundle of joy! And two days ago, I saw it move. My belly actually shifted. Now, I can't stop watching it! Unfortunately, my camera battery is dead so no current picks or video; which I hate...but hopefully we'll get it up and running by the end of the month. Mom is coming down for a couple of weeks today and that's pretty exciting-we have so much fun together and an extra pair of hands helping me out is just what I need. Dave and I are just about done renovating the bathroom, I just need to do a few touch-ups with some paing and we need one side of edging for the bathtub and we're pretty much done! Which is a relief because we have so muxh to do (and pay for) before we can get to the nursury-so please wish us luck! Other than that, everything just goes on like before; with a few changes to our daily routine to prepare us for being too busy to know what to do with ourselves! But, as all of you know, I'm happiest when I'm running in four different directions so I think I'll be okay.

Man's Best Friend

I want to make a comparison if I may...firstly, let me begin by saying that only those of you who are especially fond of animals may get anything out of this but that I hope that those of you who aren't may find some truth anyways.
I have always loved animals; I am more fond of them than I am of most people; they are more honest, respectful and good than I could ever hope to be. I have three cats and they are my world. My husband has already taken the back seat to them unfortunately, but I don't think he notices because he has become overly fond of them himself. I tend to treat them like my children and talk to them gently. There are times when I scold them but I often find myself profusely apologizing afterward because my intention was only to stop them from doing something harmful to themselves. I worry about them when I'm not home to protect them and I stay awake through the night when they're ill to make sure they get better. My favourite times are when they come to me just to be with me and they're content just to be sitting with me. I love them because they aren't judgemental or hypocritical...they are with me because they want to be and that is what makes me happy.
Just recently my thought was that I am reflecting God's love in my own way when I'm with my cats. Imagine, God looking down on all of His children and how ernestly He hopes for our well being and guides us to His utmost to keep us from harm and how He's happiest when we sit in His loving arms and simply trust Him and enjoy just spending time with Him. Imagine what He feels when one who doesn't believe in Him, finds they're way into His arms. It would be like us, getting the chance to interact directly with a wild animal. Has that ever happened? It's elating and breathtaking and exciting and at that moment, one of the most beautiful miracles we've ever known. That must be what God feels when we go to Him. Isn't the fact that He just looks at us and smiles so very comforting? And all He wants in return is for us to be like our pets are to us, trusting, loving and loyal. My cats have no doubts about me; they trust me to heal them when they are sick, love them when they are misbehaving, feed them and keep them warm and be there when they need me the most. I believe that they never second guess my actions and would never begrudge me under poor circumstances. This is who we need to be for God; His loyal and loving companions.

So,not much more interesting is happening...I've got a killer sore wisdom tooth in the back of my mouth which makes it almost unpleasant to eat anything! But I've got new shoes so that makes it much better! I also finished 'The Boy in the Striped Pajamas' by John Boyne...very good and crushing! The ending I never saw coming! I am now going to sink my teeth into 'Beatrice and Virgil' the new book by Yann Martel, one of my favourite authors EVER! I am tres excited about that! Unfortunately, that's all that's going on so I'll sign off.

Catching Up

Alright, I've finally made it through a few more of my CDs: Bach's 'Brandenburg Concertos', 'Violin Concertos', 'Goldburg Variations' and 'Organ Masterpieces'. They're all fantastic and oh so familiar...he truely is a genious. The Cold Mountain Soundtrack-even if you don't like the movie, the soundtrack is a must...so good! The Killers 'Hot Fuss'-wow, it's like listening to the radio in 2003! It's not great but it brings back good memories! Collective Soul 'Greatest Hits', 'Youth' and 'Afterwards'-what can I say, they are one of my fave bands...the make me happy. The Raconteurs 'Broken Boy Soldiers'...it's good but probably couldn't listen to it over and over again. Satin Doll (a collection of instrumental big band era songs) is one of my favourites. I think of the Andrew's Sisters and smile!

Also, took a break from reading 'Perfume' to read Belva Plain's 'Homecoming'...I was disappointed! All of her stuff is so good but this is a donation book for sure.

Affirmations Ten and Eleven

Ten: I am beautiful when I walk barefoot in the grass and dance like a child in the sun. I remember how it felt to be a child...so young and carefree, so innocent and inspired. I will try my best to find the child within me-she is there waiting to make amy world a better place.
The task: Write a story about one of your fondest childhood memories and post it.

Eleven: I am beautiful when I reach my hand out to others. I am most successful when I am surrounded by my friends. I will create friendships that are built on companionship, support,and unconditional caring...True friendshop is a beautifier fo mind, body and spirit. It coompletes my life and makes me beautiful.
Task: Contact someone you've lost touch with.

Affirmation Day Nine: I am beautifl when my mind and my body are in harmony. My body is my responsibility, and it is up to me to treat it with care. I will listen to my body and respect its wishes. I am my body and my body is beautiful.
Affirmation Task: Today's task is to put passion into everything you do...if you aren't going to be thrilled doing it, don't do it. Concentrate on the things that make you happy.

I published my poem to a website from I believe Affirmation Day Four...it's about Jesus; something I care strongly about. I posted it at http://www.poetry.com/poems/one-dark-night/14339060/-you can check it out.

Behind again

Hi guys-wow this reno thing takes up too much time! Ok, yesterdays affirmation is as follows:
Day Seven: I am beautiful when I am honest with myself and others. I will take time to get to know myself better-to experience my emotions, appreciate my body, and reconnect with my spirit. This is my time to acknowledge my hopes, dreams, and desires. This is my time to discover all the beauty I hold within me.
The goal for this affirmation is to sit down with yourself and make a list of the things you wish you were doing differently or the things you wish to improve (not for others, but solely for yourself) and then add ways of changing them. You have the power to actively work towards them (on my resolutions blog, I've been doing this!)

Day Eight: I am beautiful when I see every day as the best day of my life. I will not dwell on past circumstances. I will keep focused on today and be fully present in the moment...I will ask myself, "What will I do with all that the world offers me?" And my answer will be: great, marvelous, fabulous things that only I am capable of doing.

Today's task is to take one painful thing of your past that consumes your thoughts and is an unecessary dwelling, write it on paper, and bury it. Send it officially to rest. Then, do something great that you haven't done before.

Forgetful Me

I totally forgot to post my affirmation for the other day!
So here is Affirmation Day Six: I am beautiful when I speak the words that are in my heart and stand up for what i believe in. By speaking up and being present, I am makinig a contribution to the world. My voice is powerful and significant and beautiful. My voice deserves to be heard. I am beautiful when I am passionate about things I do. I wasn't born just to take up space; I was born to make a difference. I make every day count, even if it's just in one tiny way...Everymorning I wake up. I have a choice of what is to come. I coose to be beautiful by leading a beautiful life.
The task for this affirmation is to write something that can be published; a poem, and editorial, anything that you are passionate about and send it away to a paper, a publisher-anything where people will get the chance to read you words and know how powerful you are in your convictions!

Day Seven affirmation:
I am beaufiful when I make lemonade ou of lemons. I accept that some days will be harder than others. The rainy days teach me to appreciate the sunshine. They help me to grow stronger, wiser, braver, and more beautiful. With one deep breath at a time, I will move through today into tomorrow...and every day will be the best tomorrow yet.
Today's task is to simply try yoga...it's a great way to reconnect with you body, mind and spirit. And it really relaxes you and puts you in a good place!

Affirmations Five

Day Five: I am beautiful when I'm authentic, when my body and mind are at ease, and when I am completely myself. Sometimes I lose myself in what the world expects of me. I will not try to conform to what I 'should be'. I will create my own box and step outside it as I wish. I will shout from the rooftops, "World, here I am!" I will let everyone know my presence is worth noticing.

Challenge: The challenge today is simple; it is just to avoid magazines that tell you how you should be and focus on the fact that you are already who you are for a reason and that person is amazing already!

Affirmations: Day Four

Well, guys, I did it! I spent the entire day Saturday with my hair unkempt and now make-up on: It actually was a challenge because I NEVER go anywhere without my hair done. In fact, I even went into Tim's and got a coffee.



Day Four: Perfection is overrated. If everyone in this world were perfect, we would all be exactly the same. It is the very things taht make me different that make me beautiful...I am unique in my appearance, in my wisdom, and in my emotions. these are the things that set me apart, make me irreplacable.

The challenge for the day is to start a gratitude journal for yourself and everyday and for the next twenty days, write down five things you like about yourself in it every morning as you get up or in the evening before going to bed...by the end, you should have one hundred things that you love about yourself or are thankful about yourself. Good luck.

Here are mine for the day:
1. I love my hair
2. I love my moles
3. I love my self-confidence
4. I love my cooking
5. I love my green thumb

An Old Post

I just found this old post and was wondering what happened to this girl-because it's part of the girl I'm trying to re-discover now...

'I'm twenty one years old and I listen to Bach while drinking green tea and knitting. I enjoy Bach; his melodies are much sweeter than those of Beethoven or Motzart and I'm twenty one and I understand that. I'm twenty one and I enjoy homemaking. My napkins are homemade; all my furniture matches. I have a flower garden that I love to work in and I cook. This morning I made breakfast for Dave and I. I'm twenty one and breakfast for two included an assortment of homemade crepes, pancakes, orange/pineapple pancake syrup, scrambled eggs, hashbrowns and breakfast puffs. I'm not writing this to brag, honestly, because a lot of people wouldn't be happy with what I do. I'm writing this because I'm twenty one and I know myself. I know what I like and don't like and I love who I am. I'm twenty one and I'm a woman who enjoys green tea and Bach.'

More Books

Okay, so I took a break from 'The Stand'; it's good but I was itching to read something different. So, two weeks ago, I picked up Belva Plain's book, 'Fortune's Hand'. The thing I like about Belva Plain is her ability to suck you into someone else's world so effortlessly. She has a certain style I like and I enjoyed the book very much. Then, I read Nicholas Evans book 'The Loop'. Nicholas Evans wrote the 'Horse Whisperer' which was a fabulous book so I had high expectations for this one...I wasn't disappointed! I couldn't put it down! It was sooooo good and I totally recommend it to everyone. Thirdly, I sat down with Sue Monk Kidd's book 'The Mermaid Chair'. I have never read any of her things and had bought the book on a whim (plus it was thirty percent off!) It was fabulous. I was impressed and entertained thoroughly. I am now reading 'Perfume' and will update you on that as well.

Affirmation: Day Three

Day three: I am beautiful when my hair's a mess and I haven't put my make-up on yet.
The challenge today is simply to not put make-up on or do your hair at all today and remember-you're more beautiful this way because this is how God made you; make up and hair are just enhancers.
Have a lovely day.

P.S. I did yesterdays exercise faithfully all day and the results were amazing. It was like by the end of the day, all the ugliness I had seen melted away. I'm going to continue it.

Day Two: Affirmations

Well, everyone, I hope that the first affirmation was a success! I know I had trouble remembering sometimes and once I caught myself looking in the mirror and thinking how tired I looked but then I remembered that I only wanted good thoughts so I thought about all the things I liked about myself and the list wasn't too short!

Day Two:
Each morning I will smile at the woman in the mirror instead of scowling. I will be sensitive to her needs and treat her with kindness. I will be proud of her accomplishments and accepting of her faults. I will allow her to be herself. She is me and I am beautiful.
The goal for today is to pick one part of your body that you have trouble loving. Make a list of all the things that you like about that body part and everytime you look in the mirror, force yourself to look at it and remember why you love it.

The body part I choose is my stomache. I've always hated it. Here's the things I love about it.
1. The milky white color
2. It's still stretchmark free and smooth.
3. No hideous treasure trail.
4. The two moles on the left of my belly button.
5. My belly button
6. It will be my children's first home.
7. It gives me my curves.

Daily Affirmations

I borrowed an affirmation book from my grandma. It's called 'I Am Beautiful' and it's written by Diane Mastromarino. I was skimming through it and it carries such strength for those of us so fortunate to be women...but unfortunately, we tend to take ourselves for granted and even think we're not good enough, so each day, I'm going to post a new page from the book along with a mini exercise to work on through the day.

Day One:
Part of being beautiful is the knowledge that I am not just saying these words, but truly believing them.
Today, everytime you see your reflection, think to yourself 'I am Beautiful' and find one feature about yourself that you admire outwardly.

The Sky

I think what most people don't know is that one of the things that drew me back home to Manitoba is the sky. For something so vast, I find it very intimate. In all the places I've been, it's felt different; almost like it defines the mood that is set in each particular place. In Alberta, the sky is overwhelming in its simpleness. Everything about it seems unreachable, like you're looking at a painted canvass. It seems to just sit there, immovable and grand. It's also fickle, cloudy one moment and sunny the next or cloudy and cold and miserable in one town and sunny and warm and wonderful in another. When the rain clouds come in, they sweep the sky and sit above you half heartedly.
In Hawaii, the sky is too large like it's swollen too far in hopes of encompassing all of paradise. It is pastel and the clouds seem lazy as if the lack of importance emanating from the shores influences them. The horizons sparkle and blend into the ocean and the sunsets are understated and dull, perhaps only pale in comparison to it's surroundings. The rain comes in sheets from a seemingly empty sky because even the thunder seems to have trouble invading the stillness.
In British Columbia the sky is bountiful and full of freedom. The clouds swell and sit themselves comfortably over the mountains, sometimes white and peaceful,other times dark and forboding. The blue is too blue and the black too black but no matter how overwhelming, you feel strangely at ease as it encompasses you. The air is seemingly sweet and the rain is plentiful but hopeful. Life is evident in the sprawling coastal skies.
In Manitoba, the sky is so close you can almost touch it but so immense and full of life that you doubt you can. Everyday, the picture it paints is clearer, more brilliant and possibly full of more color. The clouds have many faces and the sun shows hope and possiblitly and growth. The prairies open up before it to enable us to see every aspect of the sunrise and set and it's my firm belief that making pictures in the clouds was invented in a sky like Manitobas. When the rain comes in, the thunder and dark clouds rumble omniously like a train down a track and the blackness furls in like smoke with a light show. A Manitoba sky is peaceful and powerful and stunning and is what draws me back even if I don't realize it.

Four More CDs Down

Alright,
Three more CDs have been listened to. I have listened to CD One of my Bach collection: The Brandenburg Concertos. There are so many ways that I love and respect this composer-for those who like Classical music, this is a must. Imogen Heap's 'Speak For Yourself'...I love, love, love Imogen Heap. She makes me feel punk/rock. And finally, Meatloaf's third album, 'Bat Out Of Hell III: The Monster is Loose' and first album 'Bat out of Hell'. Although I haven't listend to the second CD recently, I think I'd have to rate them as follows; album One, Three and then Two. All good though and a must-have on long car trips.

Books

I had made a silent vow when the new year came in that I would try to read a book a month.  Well, it's February sixteenth and I'm on book four already.  This year I've read 'The Reader' by Bernard Schlink, 'Swang Song' by Robert McCammon, 'Feathers in the Fire' by Catherine Cookson and am now on 'The Stand' by Stephen King.  'The Reader' was pretty good.  If you've seen the movie, you've pretty much read the book because the filmmakers copied it almost word for word and I enjoyed both highly.  'Swan Song' was amazing but I think everything ever written by Robert McCammon is amazing.  It's about the end of the world and those that survive it to create the new world.  I literally couldn't put it down.  'Feathers in the Fire' is sub-par.  It's an easy read and was lent to me by Grandma.  So far, 'The Stand' had caught my interest.  It's HUGE so hopefully I can finish it in good time.  I'm way ahead of my goal anyway so  it doesn't matter if it takes me a little longer.

I have discovered that I don't have a favorite color per say.  It seems to interchange from day to day.   It tends to linger between green, orange, red, pink or blue.  I can't seem to decided which I like best.  So I'll like them all.

Backstreet's Back

Okay, I have now listened to all the Backstreet Boys I own. Wow, what a trip down memory lane (those of you who were there may very well remember a certain concert on our front lawn at 1:30 in the evening). I hardly ever listen to them anymore but I pull them out to be reminded of my highschool years and it brings me closer to my SSS (even when we're all seperated).  My favourite still has to be Millenium, followed by Black and Blue, then Never Gone, Backstreet's Back and Backstreet Boys.  However, they apparently have two NEW albums and one just came out in 2009; Unbreakable and This is Us (both sans Kevin).  Unfortunately, I may have to purchase these as I have never been without one of their CDs...it's more a tradition than anything now-man, sometimes I hate growing up!

Riverdance

Okay, so I skipped ahead in my CD collection.  I have owned the 'Riverdance' soundtrack for forever.  I still love it.  I play it all the time when I'm writing and I have long memories when I listen to the songs.  I remember three girls sitting on a fallen tree with an old boom box listening to (Lament) and thinking of the possibilities of Cassie's writing endeavor she was calling 'Bethany's Cove'.  I guess it reminds me of our dreams and what we hoped for and that's what brings me back to it.  Plus, the movie for it is amazing.

Three More CDs Down

Okay, I've listened to three more albums in my collection-Clay Aiken's 'A Thousand Different Ways', which is just a compilation of love songs; good but I reiterate from his last CD.  And then, we have Audio A's 'Underdog' and 'Lift'-both tres fantastique and worthy of anyones valuable listening time.  I always feel amazing after listening to them.

My Reinvention

I was watching Dawson's Creek today-I realize that this sequay is less than inspiring-and Dawson was having one of his many teen anxt problems per usual...but this time, it spoke to me very profoundly.  He was realizing that he had narrowed his field of vision about who he was and what he wanted in his future and he was trapping himself when he, in reality, had a blank future before him.  In one scene, he is clearing his bedroom walls completely of all his old posters and memorabelia in hopes of renewal.  I realized that, as much as this may be a teen problem, it's also a me problem.  I used to really know what I wanted and what I liked and it didn't matter how I got there as long as I was enjoying the ride while I was going.  I pierced my tongue and dyed my hair pink and wore mismatched outfits and drank green tea and listened to the same CDs over and over because they inspired me.  I stayed up late just to write and I would spend all day belting musicals and working on jigsaw puzzles and didn't worry about tomorrow or not having time to do things.  I have become stale-I got married and have become stale.  I love my husband but I need to pull back and reinvent my single self in order to be happy with what I'm contributint to not only him, but to myself. I have had the same cut for years, I haven't pierced or tatooed myself in years (and although this doesn't matter so much, I never change my jewellry...it's been plain forever).  I wear safe outfits and listen to music mostly when I'm in my car and even then, only on the radio.  I'm not sure what my favourite band is or even what my favourite color is.  I spend my weekends worrying about what I'll do in them that won't make me feel as if I've wasted them instead of just doing things that make me happy.  I avoid social contact with people unless they're safe.  I've been invited to Band rehearsals on Wednesdays and haven't gone, there's yoga classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I never go...my dreams are so faded that I can barely see them when, in reality, there is zero things stopping me from reaching them.  I have quieted myself down and now am too scared to go out and do things.  So, I'm starting out to get them.

It's going to begin simply...I'm going to go through my CD's and find out what I have that I still want and which ones make me the happiest...I know I've discovered a love for oldies songs and the Big Band Era so a couple of burned CD's of those will do me just fine.  Thus far, I've listened to Bryan Adams "So Far, So Good"-awesome album, literally his best songs on one disc and perfect for cranking on a hot summer day with the windows rolled down, cruising in your car.  I'm currently listening to Clay Aiken's "Measure of a Man".  The thing I like most about this CD is his vocals; the words are sub-par but his vocals really win me over and I have a lot of good memories from the tracks.

And I miss Jesus-it's been way too long.

I guess, I'll keep you updated as I go along.