More Ramblings...

Why is it so hard to form a habit(s)? They say it takes 21 days...which I could see being true; if you could make it that long.  I can't count how many times I've gone five days or so and then, out of mere laziness, ordered in and boom; that was the end of that for about a week until I tried again.  And, it's not just the weight-loss thing...I have the bad habit of falling into a drudgery type state.  It's hard as a mom to be always on top of your personal needs and wants but darn it, I want to try! I want to dress nice every day and work out and write and take care of my other stuff (like facials and nails and such).  The list goes on...being cool Mom is actually quite difficult; I mean from the outside.  Inwardly, I'm the best, of course (insert obvious joke here). 
So, this weekend, Landon went to Grandma's all weekend and I went to a Frame Show for work in Winnipeg on Friday, did a bit of shopping on Saturday and am using Sunday as my pre-fabulous day.
So, this morning, I applied Salon Effects to my nails; they are awesome (thus far, I don't know how long they'll last).  I picked the snake skin and they are so easy to apply and look amazing.  And I also did a base coat of acrylic gel which I got at Walmart to keep my nails hard so hopefully they'll grow! I finished off the morning with a chocolate/strawberry clay mask facial and a good dose of face cream and later, Dave and I are going to teeth whiten! An update on that later.

It's Here...

Okay...the time has come to reveal some nail styles that I've been playing around with over the last two months:

 This is one of my favourites.  I used Avon's Mosaic Effects.  It came only in black (but the white just came available-I can't wait to try it!) and it's fairly easy to use.  Just paint on your base colour; something bright is best and then when the first coat is dry, apply a thin layer of Mosaic and it crackles right away! It does tend to get goopy in the bottle if you don't tighten the cap really tight.

 As you can tell, this was right before Christmas.  The colours you can choose can be less intense, but remember to put the darker colour on second.  I applied a full base coat in green and then when it was completely dry, I applied some Scotch tape diagonally across the nail and applied a generous coat of red.  Once that was dry enough for handling, I peeled the tape and applied a top coat.

Firstly, I have to say that I love this pink.  But the jewels are just as fun.  I got them from Avon and they are slightly sticky on the back.  You have to have everything prepared and ready for this one because you have to apply the jewels to wet nail enamel.  Choose your colour and the nails you wish to apply the glitter to.  Paint on your coat (if using two coats, apply jewels to second one) and, using tweezers, place on diamonds while still wet.  Then, apply colour to other nails.  Once everything is thoroughly dry, apply a top coat.  These jewels stay on pretty good but I only use them when I'm going out as wear and tear of the day can wear them off.  I found some great stickers for nails at the Dollar Store (go figure) that don't come off until you remove them and look awesome.

Back in the Saddle Again

Wow! I fell of the wagon in every respect....I've done diddly squat since the last post and have been feeling way less than fabulous for the last month.   A little post-Christmas doldrums, maybe.  But, I'm starting to feel like I may be back on track in the next couple of days...just have to kick this stupid cold!
But, I've officially scared myself back into eating healthy and working out....I just realized that I was being relaxed in that regard because I've entered the 'I already weigh x amount, who cares about more pie?' phase.  It's bad.  So, back to the beginning.  A fresh new start!
I promise a post when I kick-start my new weight-loss regime (which isn't new, really, just hopefully followed!) and I will be updating some nail and feet info in a few days! 

Woah....let me firstly say that I'm pretty sure I didn't stop eating during the entire month of December! I don't even want to look at the scale or do a waist measurement but I'll hop on anyways....wait right here:

Just as I thought...Gained about ten pounds! Yikes! So, here's the new deal, starting tomorrow; six days a week of exercise for sixty minutes a day and no fried foods, salts or refined sugars! I will go back down to five days of exercise for forty minutes a day when I lose the pounds and just want to maintain my weight.  I'm excited and nervous....I want to see changes sooner than I will but I know I have to be patient; but I'm scared I won't at all, which I know also won't happen.

I'm also pumped for the entire year to come! Dave and I have already started talking about Christmas plans for this year as well as summer plans and the joy of seeing what each new day brings us.  We're both off tomorrow so we'll do a few things around the house but mostly we'll just relax with our son.  Then, off to work on Tuesday for two days for me and Landon and Dave will more than likely have a sleepover with Great Grandma on Tuesday night (keeping her company because she just lost her best friend in a car accident before Christmas).

And not to worry, I did not forget my fabulous hand and feet makeover! I've been experimenting with a few new looks and techniques and will post on that in the next week or two! I promise.  I will tell you that I picked up a new nail-growing gel from Sally Hanson because my nails just are too soft and keep ripping! Hopefully we'll have success.

Also, two weeks ago, I finished my 52nd book! I compiled the full list for you.  

Allison's 2011 Reading List 

1. Mistress of Nothing-Kate Pullinger

2. Water For Elephants-Sarah Gruen

3. Olive Kittredge -Elizabeth Strout

4. The Cider House Rules-John Irving

5. The Divide-Nicholas Evans

6. The Concise Chinese-English Dictionary For Lovers -Xiaolu Guo

7. Twilight-Stephanie Meyer

8. New Moon-Stephanie Meyer

9. Eclipse-Stephanie Meyer

10. Breaking Dawn-Stephanie Meyer

11. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner-Stephanie Meyer

12. Riding Lessons-Sarah Gruen

13. Ya-Ya's in Bloom-Rebecca Wells

14. Scarlet Thread-Francine Rivers

15. The Memory Keepers Daughter- Kim Edwards

16. Speaks the Nightbird -Robert McCammon

17. Queen of Bedlam-Robert McCammon

18. Mr. Slaughter-Robert McCammon

19. A Widow for One Year-John Irving

20. Crank-Ellen Hopkins

21. Glass-Ellen Hopkins

22. Fallen-Ellen Hopkins

23. Traveling With Pomegranates-Sue Monk Kidd and Ann Monk Taylor

24. Ape House-Sarah Gruen

25. For One More Day-Mitch Albom

26. The Forth Hand-John Irving

27. Rebel Women of the Gold Rush-Rich Mole

28. 10 Things Jesus Taught About Women-Susan Hyatt

29. A Prayer For Owen Meany-John Irving

30. The Lake of Dreams-Kim Edwards

31. The Smoke Jumper-Nicholas Evans

32. So Brave, Young and Handsome-Leif Enger

33. When God Was a Rabbit-Sarah Winman

34. Just Another Indian- Warren Goulding

35. The Tommyknockers -Stephen King

36. Extreme Vinyl Cafe-Stuart McLean

37. They Thirst-Robert McCammon

38. The Help-Kathryn Stockett

39. Dolores Claibourne-Stephen King

40. Baal - Robert McCammon

41. Band of Brothers-Stephen E. Ambrose

42. The Hour of Bad Decisions-Russell Wangersly

43. A Secret Kept-Tatiana de Rosnay

44. The Russian Concubine-Kate Furnivall

45. The Night Circus-Ellen Morgenstern

46. The Night Boat-John McCammon

47. Setting Free the Bears-John Irving

48. Perfect-Ellen Hopkins

49. Flying Changes-Sarah Gruen

50. The World According To Garp -John Irving

51. Chocolat -Joanne Harris

52. The Christmas Clock-Kat Martin

Well, that's it for now, folks! Cheers and hats off to a grand new year!

The Last of the Great Cookie Recipes!

'Cinnamon Coffee Cookies'

1/2 cup butter, softened

1/2 cup shortening

3/4 cup brown sugar

3/4 cup sugar

1 tbsp instant coffee crystals

2 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp cloves

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

2 cups flour

1/2 cup chopped chocolate-covered coffee beans (or chocolate chips)

1/4 cup sugar

1 tsp cinnamon

Preheat oven to 325F.  Lightly grease cookie sheets; set aside.  In a large bowl, combine butter and shortening.  Beat with an electric mixer for thirty seconds.  Add brown sugar, sugar, coffee crystals, cinnamon, baking powder, nutmeg, baking soda, salt, and cloves.  Beat until combined, scraping bowl occasionally.  Beat in eggs and vanilla until combined.  Beat in flour until combined.  Stir in coffee beans.  Cover; chill for one hour or until dough is firm enough to shape.  In a small bowl, combine 1/4 cup sugar and 1 tsp cinnamon.  For each cookie, roll 1 tbsp of dough into a ball.  Roll balls in sugar mixture to coat and place two inches apart on prepared cookie sheets.  Bake for twelve minutes until edges are set.

'Brown Sugar Cookies' as promised...

'Brown Sugar Cookies'

3/4 cup sugar, at room temp.

1 1/4 cups dark brown sugar

1 large egg, room temp.

2 cups flour

2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp kosher salt

1/2 tsp ginger

1/2 tsp cinnamon

Preheat oven to 375F.  Place the butter and sugar in bowl and beat until creamy.  Add the egg and beat well.  Scrape down sides of bowl.  Place the flour, baking soda, salt, and other spices in separate bowl and mix well.  Add to butter mixture and beat until incorporated.  Drop teaspoonfuls of dough onto un-buttered cookie sheet two inches apart and bake for eight to ten minutes.

Another day towards Christmas! And what an awesome week it's going to be...I can tell! I'm gonna put on some pounds and I'm going to try not to think too much about it! Speaking of which, today is 'Chocolate Dipped Orange Shortbread' day (recipe to follow!)

Yesterday, we went to church and witnessed an adorable pageant called 'Operation Baby King' which was followed by a Christmas lunch and fellowship and then Dave, Landon and I went over to our friends Kandace and Cam's for a visit so we could all go together to the Live Nativity.  The Live Nativity is pretty cool! It was held at a farm and as you drive in, Roman soldiers direct you to your parking space and then a horse-drawn sleigh takes you to Bethlehem.  From there, shepherds lead you to the Baby Jesus (with real donkeys and cows!).  A flute is playing softly and as verses are read, the wisemen and shepherds lay gifts for the baby and angels sing! Next, you go through a door and you're in the marketplace at Bethlehem where you are given shekels (pennies) that you can spend on homemade Christmas ornaments, hot cider, buns, etc.  From there, you leave Bethlehem and go to a nice heated garage for coffee and food and fellowship....so much fun! And, the best part of the week thus far is that Mom will be here tomorrow! So much to do but having a blast!

'Chocolate Dipped Orange Shortbread'

1 cup butter, softened

1/2 cup sugar

2 tsp orange rind

1/4 tsp salt

2 cups flour

3 tbsp corn starch

Coating:

2 bars bittersweet chocolate, chopped

In large bowl, beat together butter, sugar, orange rind and salt until fluffy; stir in flour and cornstarch to make a smooth dough.  Divide dough in half.  Form each into 10" log; wrap and refrigerate for one hour.  Slice logs into 1/4 inch rounds and place one inch apart on greased cookie sheets.  Bake at 325F for 15 minutes and let cool completely.  In heatproof bowl over hot water, melt chocolate and let melt to room temperature.  Dip half of cookie into chocolate, shaking off excess.  Refrigerate on waxed paper for thirty minutes.

Seven Days...

Well, yesterday didn't go as planned but it was still good and Christmas-y! Crystal phoned really early and asked if I wanted to go to Yorkton with her for some last minute Christmas shopping so of course I agreed! I didn't have time in the morning to make my 'Lemon Stars' but I did make my 'Brown Sugar Cookies' in the morning before I left! They smell pretty good.  And a-Christmas-shopping we went....I didn't need anything, but Cole tipped me off on a thirty dollar espresso machine for sale in Walmart and Dave has always wanted one (plus, he just used his door prize $200 dollars to buy me a very awesome bread machine) so I picked one up and gave it to him last night.  Part of me wanted to surprise him but part of me also wanted a cafe mocha before Christmas! This will give him time to figure out how to use it.  And, we didn't make it back for the Christmas Concert, but Cole and Eric treated us to supper at BP's which was pretty cool.  All in all, a wonderful kick-off day!  Today I have not much planned but I am making some Puppy Chow for the holidays...here's the recipe:

'Puppy Chow'

1 Box Crispix

1 cup Peanut Butter

1/2 cup butter

1 1/2 cup chocolate chips

Icing sugar

Melt peanut butter, butter and chocolate chips and pour over cereal in large mixing bowl.  Mix lightly but well.  Continually add icing sugar until well-coated and spread on cookie sheet to dry. 

Let The Countdown Begin!

Alright all....eight more days until Santa comes down the chimney! Or something like that....And it's my Christmas countdown.  All of my Christmas festivities start tomorrow with Christmas baking and wrapping, reading Christmas books, crafts and church activities.  

I have chosen Friday, the sixteenth as baking day for 'Lemon Stars' and is also the night I go out with the girls to see the Mennonite Christmas Concert.  I'm very excited!  

On a side note....21 days to start a healthy lifestyle is definitely doable...but not this close to the holidays! I've already had brunches, Christmas parties and a birthday party! The best I can do until January is keep off the pounds! But, I'm not going to let it bother me...I'm going to enjoy the season! 

Lemon Stars

1/2 cup butter

1 cup sugasr

1 1/2 tsp lemon extract

1/2 cp sour cream

1 tsp lemon peel

2 3/4 cup flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

Frosting:

1 1/2 cups icing sugar

6 tbsp butter

3/4 tsp lemon extract

3 drops yellow food colouring

3 to 4 tbsp milk

In large bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy.  Beat in egg and extract.  Stir in sour cream and lemon peel.  Combine the flour, baking soda and salt; gradually add to creamed mixture and mix well.  Chill for three hours.  Remove a portion of dough from fridge, roll out to 1/4 inch thickness.  Place 1" apart on cookie sheet.  Bake at 375 for 6-8 minutes until edges are lightly browned.  Mix icing and spread on cooled cookies.

Put Your Best Finger Forward

The first thing I'm tackling this month in the pursuit of fabulousness (that's a word now, don't worry) is the weekly mani/pedi and finding a nice colour for those delightful digits.  I don't meant that we should go down to a salon every Thursday afternoon and spend a hundred bucks (although do treat yourself sometime, it's fantastic) I mean something simple...choose a day out of the week where you can give yourself an hour; mine is Sunday.  Then, soak your toes and fingers in warm water (if you have massage tubs for them, use those-I have one for both and I love them!) and pat dry.  Do some upkeep to the nails and cuticles (mine are always hazardous and hard to keep up) and then paint on your fave colour.  Right now, I've become a huge fan of both bright, bright colours or plain neutral.  This week, I'm going neutral in attempt to strengthen my nails.  I've gone with gel for years because my nails are super soft and as soon as they grow, they strip.  But now, with such a tight budget, I'm fending for myself.  So, I picked up Sally Hansen's Major Growth which is supposed to harden nails as it is worn.  I'm pretty sure that it just means that it creates a protective layer but since I know there's no miracle cure...I'm going with it.  It's in a beige colour which I'm going to coat with a clear Diamond Finish top coat.  And that's all for this week...nothing too fancy (that's for the Christmas Party and my son's birthday party next weekend).  If your like me, and wear and tear your hands from house cleaning and changing diapers (or whatever), touch-ups are needed and lots and lots of hand cream!  I'm always running and forgetting so my hands, especially in the winter, start to feel dry.  My goal is to apply lotion after every long-submersion and any time they're feeling a little thirsty.  That's why I've got lotion in my purse, my car, my nightstand and my bathroom.  I really should put some in my kitchen, as well!  I realize that wear and tear may not be as bad as in the summer when we're outside and if your like me, gardening! But, that is where the fabulous gloves come in...which hopefully, if I ever remember, can be discussed during planting season.  Instead, just pick a fabulous pair of gloves for your winter wear and flaunt those fingers!

Check it out:  http://www.canadianliving.com/style/beauty/6_healthy_nail_habits.php

21 Days To Form A Habit

At least, that's what I've read.  And so, being December 1st, the epic journey begins.  Unfortunately today, I'm just going to be talking about kicking off my new weight-loss goals (I promise, it'll be quick) but the first step to fabulous is coming soon!  

So, hopefully, in twenty one days, I'll be strong enough to make it through the Christmas season! I realize you're all probably laughing at me now so I'll wait a moment for you to get it out....

Okay, so Christmas Day, will be a total freebie, I admit it right now.  But, my plan is to indulge over the holidays but only within my calorie range which I'm putting at around 1300/1500 (along with 40 minutes of cardio Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and 20 minutes of strength and 20 minutes of cardio on Tuesdays and Thursdays.)  And the way to keep track? Journal.  Apparently, one of the best things you can do is to write down everything that goes in the mouth (even four sneaked fries) because then, when you see it in black and white, it makes everything clear (that is one weird colour analogy).  It's also a huge kick to your self-esteem, I'm thinking but I've learned to take things with a grain of salt.  It's gonna be hard, I know, but in a weird way, I'm looking forward to the challenge.  I should note as well, that water plays a huge part in a diet...it helps shed built up water weight, gives you needed hydration, etc, keeps you feeling full and gives you a boost.  So, my goal is to be drinking 10 cups a day (that being half my body weight in ounces).

Also, on a side note; Dave and I are Christmas paupers, so that adds two elements to being fabulous.  Firstly, it makes it darn hard to spend money on junk food or eating out (which is great) but secondly, it also makes it hard to spend money on anything else so our challenge isn't just being fabulous, but doing so on a very strict budget.  It could be fun.  Or depressing: like window-shopping.

So, here goes...I won't bore you with any details of food I'm eating, etc.  I'm just going to give you some stats and a picture (I shake my head at my own audacity) and call it a day.

Weight: 165 lbs

Bust: 41 "

Waist: 39"

Hips: 38"

Okay, I promise, no new diet info until January, 2012.

It's A New Day (Or Something Like That)

Hey, hey, hey!
Okay, so you might have noticed that I changed my address from mymyselfandi.blogspot.com to 100waystofabulous.blogspot.com.
The reason for this is simple...it's time for an Allison re-invention.  Do you ever hit that point where you feel like your life needs some changes due to monotony or overwork? Well, I think I'm experiencing a little of both plus, a little like a stay-at-home-mom-housewife; which I realize I am, but I don't need to feel that way!  Plus, (and here's the quick inhale), I've gained some weight in the past two months and am really needing to lose like, thirty pounds!  I promise I won't post a ton of stats, but I am going to be starting a food journal at home and I will do the occasional update.  I also found some cool sites to keep me going on my journey.  Please note; this is for me only.  Not for anyone else.  I want to be happy looking in the mirror and while I love everything about my body, except for my stomach, I want it all! I want my cake and eat it too.  So, words of encouragement every once in awhile would be awesome.  This entire project will be starting on December 1st so that I not only have time to prepare, but I will also be starting on a 'beginning' day.
Also, I'm going to be doing some research into things that make me feel fabulous.  I know it's a state of mind, but it doesn't hurt to have some visual aids, etc, does it? So, I'm going to make up a list of aspects to look into and take the plunge day after tomorrow.
Looking forward to starting a brand new journey!

Very Quick Update

Hey guys!
Okay, quick update on the book list...which is almost finished, by the way!

37. They Thirst-Robert McCammon
38. The Help-Kathryn Stockett
39. Dolores Claiborne-Stephen King
40. Baal-Robert McCammon
41. Band of Brothers-Stephen E. Ambrose
42. The Hour of BAd Decisions-Russell Wangersly
43. A Secret Kept-Tatiana de Rosnay
44. The Russian Concubine-Kate Furnivall
45. The Night Circus-Erin Morgenstern
46. The Night Boat-Robert McCammon
47. Setting Free The Bears-John Irving
48. Perfect-Ellen Hopkins
49. Flying Changes-Sarah Gruen

So, only three more to go...right now, I'm reading 'The World According To Garp' by John Irving and it's turning into a real good read.  Also, occupying my time planning Landon's birthday party and looking after the little tyke! He's a handful and nearly walking! I'm also getting ready to go back to work part time in December and of course, there's Christmas on the way! Just a little more shopping left and wrapping! Yay!

Christmas is Coming!

Sorry, this will be quick but I thought it was time for a quick update!

Firstly, a toast to the first snow....the driving is crappy but it's so beautiful and Christmas-y out there!
Secondly, my son is crawling and walking along furniture and in one month, will be a year old!!! How insane is that?
Thirdly, I'm on my forty eighth book so I'm still ahead of the game.  I've read some good ones and am planning on posting a complete list on Facebook for the end of the year.
Fourthly, I'm going back to work in December part time and looking forward.
Fifthly, Dave has moved up a position at the bank and is training for teller today.
Sixthly, the inlaws will be here tomorrow for a quick visit!
What a busy time.

Book Count Update

26. The Fourth Hand-John Irving
27. Rebel Women of the Gold Rush-Rich Mole
28. 10 Things Jesus Taught About Women-Susan Hyatt
29. A Prayer For Owen Meany-John Irving
30. The Lake of Dreams-Kim Edwards
31. The Smoke Jumper-Nicholas Evans
32. So Brave, Young and Handsome-Leif Enger
33. When God Was a Rabbit-Sarah Winman
34. Just Another Indian-Warran Goulding
35. The Tommyknockers-Stephen King
36. Extreme Vinyl Cafe-Stuart McLean

Finally...a Post!

My Awesome New Pants!

Well, just a quick post while Landon sleeps-because we don't know how long it will last! I finished 'The Memory Keepers Daughter' by Kim Edwards-pretty good; slightly depressing. Now, I'm onto the Robert McCammon trilogy (which I've read two of the books previously but the third came out recently and I want to re-educate myself) starting with Speaks the Nightbird Part One and Two. It has always been one of my favourites. Dave is into his third week at the Credit Union and is loving it! I think he'll nail it and move up-he's very smart. I'm doing good; the days are weird not being at work, but every once in awhile I go in to see patients. The kitchen is coming along nicely too and it's awesome seeing something come out of what it was-I'll have to post before and after shots once we're done. And Landon is great-growing rapidly and always keeping me busy. Plus, he's tres adorable! More at a later date.

Howdy guys!
Well, my reading slowed down a bit as I started in on rewatching my Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman series! I love that show! But I did finish 'The Scarlet Thread' and it was pretty decent. I tried reading a book about good ol' Swan River that I got from Dave's parents but I couldn't make it through it, so now I'm onto 'The Memory Keepers Daughter'...it's caught my attention so far! I'm also learning to multitask with a baby better! I even knit a cool dishcloth with a butterfly imprint on it and my puzzle making is slow but steady-I work on it whenever I can get the baby to nap!
And Dave got an awesome new job full-time at the credit union which gives us evenings and weekends together. I've also been busy planning my gardening for the summer-in fact my early sweeding in indoor pots is next week already and I may actually have the income to do an overhaul on my yard.
As well, Landon and I arwe going out West in May and we're excited! I think that as much as Dave will miss us, he'll be happy to have time to hhimself. But I'd better blast since the baby is fidgeting! He's great, by the way!

Well, I've been just flying through the books! Landon is teething and growing like a weed so he's eating alot! I finished the 'Twilight' series along with the novella 'The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner' which was so so, followed by 'Riding Lessons' by Sara Gruen. It was a very good read, but I'm discovering that she is one of my favourite authors. I then read the sequel to 'Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood', 'Ya-Ya's in Bloom' by Rebecca Wells and it was okay; probably not one to keep in the bookshelf, though and am now on to the 'Scarlet Thread' by Francine Rivers. It's caught my interest so far so I think it won't be long before my next read.
Everything else is good; Dave just celebrated his 24th birthday and his parents were here a week ago-had a good visit; things went off without a hitch and we had a very fun bowling night in honour of Dave's birthday. Landon of course is great and cute as ever!

Book Update!

Hey! Just thought I'd give a book update: I finished reading 'The Divide' by Nicholas Evans and also 'The Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers' by Xiaolu Guo and it was interesting. It was written in broken English from the perspective of a Chinese girl coming to England to learn English. It's very philospophical and very interestingly written. Then, I decided to reread the 'Twilight' series again because I picked up the adjoining novella about six months ago called 'The Secret Life of Bree Tanner' and I didn't want to read it until I had reacquainted myself with the first four books. I'm already through 'Twilight' and almost done 'New Moon' again and they're just as good as I remembered. I can't wait to eat them up again and start the novella. Anyhoo, not much more to report-Landon is awesome; he eats alot though! But he's generally a happy boy and I am learning how to do things with him present like puzzles and household stuff. But, unfortunately, he is about to eat shortly so I should jet-have a great day all!

Well, being a mother definately takes up a lot of time-especially now that Landon is awake alot and wants to hang out with someone constantly! But, he is currently having a wicked awesome nap on the couch with his face smushe on a pillow (but still able to breathe!). However, I do have time to read alot and am still on schedule! I finished Olive Kittredge and it was okay; nothing I'd read again. I also finished John Irving's The Cider House Rules and it is AMAZING! I recommend everyone read it. I am now almost entirely through Nicholas Evans 'The Divide' and it's pretty good, but I had very little doubt considering the last new books of his were incredible (he wrote 'The Horse Whisperer').
Mom came and visited for almost two weeks and was here for her fifty first birthday which I made a camo cake for-it was fabulous! And, she bought me a horde of new books to add to my collection so I'm stocked for the next few months! It was also handy she was here because I had to go in for an emergency D and C almost two weeks ago and I needed someone to watch Landon because Dave worked nearly twelve hours and I had to be put under. But, I'm okay now,they just had to remove some left over placenta from my delivery. Gross, I know. Anyhoo, on that lovely note, I'd better jet. Lots of love!

Well, I'm still working on my third book; it's called 'Olive Kittredge' and it's by Elizabeth Strout....it's good, but probably something I won't read again; also making it difficult to get through it as fast. Dave's also been off all week which makes it hard to read through because we're always involved with eachother in some way. But next week is his long work week, so I'm positive I'll get a lot of reading done! Also, having a baby is very time consuming! In a good way of course.
But, he is very well behaved-yesterday, we went to Yorkton and did a little shopping and he slept all the way there, all the way through our trips into stores and didn't wake up until we were half an hour from home! It makes being normal so easy.
The resolution thing is going slowly but surely-for once I'm not doing that Allison thing where I chide myself for not sticking with it to a T. I think for the first few weeks, it takes a bit to get into a rhythm. I've slipped from the healthy eating once or twice but at least I'm not overeating when I treat myself! And I worked out today with Dave before he left for work-I'm a little tired, but I get to sleep in tomorrow. It'll be a late night for sure because we are going to Bill and Crystals for supper and we always end up shooting the breeze until ten or eleven o'clock at night and then we have to come home and get Landon to sleep which always takes a few hours.
Also, Dave and I are working on a short story project and did some work on that the other night. It was nice; just the two of us on lap tops in the living room with our son propped up on pillows beside Dave.
Anyhoo, my plan for the day is to start planninig my garden, finish tidying the house and maybe get the next kitchen cupboard ready for painting-but only if Landon lets me! If not, we'll settle down with a movie.

Ha, ha! A new post after two days! Not too bad at all! Well, the getting in shape thing is going okay! I worked out two days this week for forty minutes each-not as hard core as I'm used to, but my stitches have just recently healed...and I had a couple days of calorie confusion; I had myself adjusted to a 1300 calorie plan but was constantly hungry so when I looked up calories burned during breastfeeding, I wasn't too surprised that you can burn a whopping 500 calories a day! Which means, that knocks down calories injested to only 800, and if I work out and burn 200, that knocks me down to 600-not enough! No wonder I was soo hungry, and having trouble keeping to my set goal. I couldn't help 'overeating' because I had no calories left! Landon is taking them all away after I consume them. So, now I feel much better and not so bad when I don't work out because I can still get in shape; just slowly. I need to have some patience!
Also, I decided that I want to try and read a book a week this year (a huge goal, I know but I've already finished one and started another in 8 days) and have finished 'The Mistress of Nothing' by Kate Pullinger, which by the way, was excellent. It's a story loosely based on true events and I highly recommend it as a read, so I won't go into too much detail about it, so if someone decides to pick it up, they won't know what to expect. I'm now tying into 'Water For Elephants' by Sara Gruen and it's turning into a really good book. I like this new goal...firstly, I have time to read while nursing Landon because sometimes I sit with him for an hour or so (he's a very hungry little guy!) and secondly, I have a habit of collecting books and never having time to read them so now I can finally make my way through my fifteen or so unread titles.
I will keep you posted!
Also, I watched Moulin Rouge today-I forgot how much I love that movie!

Happy New Year!

Wow, suddenly, I've become an insanely terrible blogger! I miss the times when we all avidly posted, keeping ourselves in touch with each other's lives! Well, as you all probably know, I am entering 2011 as a Mom! My son was born at 12:04 am on December 13th and we named him Landon Hugh William Sommerville. He weighed in at 8 lbs, 15 1/4 oz and was four minutes away from being due on his due date! He is an absolutely beautiful boy with lots of hair (which is now turning a dark blond) and perfect hands and feet. He hardly ever cries and is growing like crazy; he's almost too long for his newborn sleepers and he's only three and a half weeks today. I'm very excited to celebrate my first real Mother's Day because last year, when I was pregnant, it was still all a big secret and the Dave got me a card to celebrate our coming arrival, but now I can celebrate my new stature with everyone!
As always comes with the New Year, I've got some resolutions that I'm hoping to accomplish! Here's my list:
1. Get in shape for summer-it's gonna take some hard work to get rid of my 'baby' belly, but I'm up for it! I've started a guideline on Spark Nutrition which lets me outline all the foods I eat and tells me how many calories I've ingested, breaking it down into carbs, fat, and protein and then comparing it to what I should be taking in. It also allows me to to track my workouts and how many calories I've burned.
2. Learn the guitar or piano, or both; whichever comes first-I'm waiting on being able to purchase a cord for my electric guitar that can connect it to the amp and then hopefully, I'll be on my way!
3. Write more-I want to see one of my books at least get sent away to be reviewed by a publisher, even if it gets rejected; which, from what I've heard, is very common but at least I'll have made that first step.
4. Start oil painting again-Dave has bought me a beginner set and some canvasses, but I have to decide what I want to paint. I've been starting to get more artistic, painting a few ceramics during the holidays but this is where I can really see how artistic I can be.
5. Blog more and communicate more with my friends-via email letter or phone but it must be done; I miss you guys!
6. Finish house renos-This is becoming the bane of my existance, especially without money! But, we've been known to do it on a tight budget before so we just need to get going; and learn how to work around a baby's schedule!
7. Create a backyard paradise-I've got my seed order ready from P.E.I and brand new Gardener's Journal with references and plot outlines. I'm very excited and hope to share my ideas online!
8. Hone in on my relationship with Jesus-this keeps coming up; and though it is technically last on the list, does not mean it isn't the most important and I want this not only for myself, but so Landon can learn about God and His love through me. I can only accomplish this by being devoted to being an open vessel to Him (as I wrote about in my last prayer blog).
I will keep you all updated on my achievements as well as other goings-on in my life (as part of my fifth resolution and as an attempt to become better connected to you guys! I'm very excited about this and hope to see some more posts soon.

I apologize for my being on hiatus for the last few weeks but with the upcoming arrival, I'm afraid my life has been one big leap at getting these house renos done in time! And my friends, time is running out! I am in the last month of my second trimester which means, four more months to go! But, it is exciting! We felt the baby moving by eighteen weeks, about a day after the ultrasound in which we got to see close up our little bundle of joy! And two days ago, I saw it move. My belly actually shifted. Now, I can't stop watching it! Unfortunately, my camera battery is dead so no current picks or video; which I hate...but hopefully we'll get it up and running by the end of the month. Mom is coming down for a couple of weeks today and that's pretty exciting-we have so much fun together and an extra pair of hands helping me out is just what I need. Dave and I are just about done renovating the bathroom, I just need to do a few touch-ups with some paing and we need one side of edging for the bathtub and we're pretty much done! Which is a relief because we have so muxh to do (and pay for) before we can get to the nursury-so please wish us luck! Other than that, everything just goes on like before; with a few changes to our daily routine to prepare us for being too busy to know what to do with ourselves! But, as all of you know, I'm happiest when I'm running in four different directions so I think I'll be okay.

Man's Best Friend

I want to make a comparison if I may...firstly, let me begin by saying that only those of you who are especially fond of animals may get anything out of this but that I hope that those of you who aren't may find some truth anyways.
I have always loved animals; I am more fond of them than I am of most people; they are more honest, respectful and good than I could ever hope to be. I have three cats and they are my world. My husband has already taken the back seat to them unfortunately, but I don't think he notices because he has become overly fond of them himself. I tend to treat them like my children and talk to them gently. There are times when I scold them but I often find myself profusely apologizing afterward because my intention was only to stop them from doing something harmful to themselves. I worry about them when I'm not home to protect them and I stay awake through the night when they're ill to make sure they get better. My favourite times are when they come to me just to be with me and they're content just to be sitting with me. I love them because they aren't judgemental or hypocritical...they are with me because they want to be and that is what makes me happy.
Just recently my thought was that I am reflecting God's love in my own way when I'm with my cats. Imagine, God looking down on all of His children and how ernestly He hopes for our well being and guides us to His utmost to keep us from harm and how He's happiest when we sit in His loving arms and simply trust Him and enjoy just spending time with Him. Imagine what He feels when one who doesn't believe in Him, finds they're way into His arms. It would be like us, getting the chance to interact directly with a wild animal. Has that ever happened? It's elating and breathtaking and exciting and at that moment, one of the most beautiful miracles we've ever known. That must be what God feels when we go to Him. Isn't the fact that He just looks at us and smiles so very comforting? And all He wants in return is for us to be like our pets are to us, trusting, loving and loyal. My cats have no doubts about me; they trust me to heal them when they are sick, love them when they are misbehaving, feed them and keep them warm and be there when they need me the most. I believe that they never second guess my actions and would never begrudge me under poor circumstances. This is who we need to be for God; His loyal and loving companions.

So,not much more interesting is happening...I've got a killer sore wisdom tooth in the back of my mouth which makes it almost unpleasant to eat anything! But I've got new shoes so that makes it much better! I also finished 'The Boy in the Striped Pajamas' by John Boyne...very good and crushing! The ending I never saw coming! I am now going to sink my teeth into 'Beatrice and Virgil' the new book by Yann Martel, one of my favourite authors EVER! I am tres excited about that! Unfortunately, that's all that's going on so I'll sign off.

Catching Up

Alright, I've finally made it through a few more of my CDs: Bach's 'Brandenburg Concertos', 'Violin Concertos', 'Goldburg Variations' and 'Organ Masterpieces'. They're all fantastic and oh so familiar...he truely is a genious. The Cold Mountain Soundtrack-even if you don't like the movie, the soundtrack is a must...so good! The Killers 'Hot Fuss'-wow, it's like listening to the radio in 2003! It's not great but it brings back good memories! Collective Soul 'Greatest Hits', 'Youth' and 'Afterwards'-what can I say, they are one of my fave bands...the make me happy. The Raconteurs 'Broken Boy Soldiers'...it's good but probably couldn't listen to it over and over again. Satin Doll (a collection of instrumental big band era songs) is one of my favourites. I think of the Andrew's Sisters and smile!

Also, took a break from reading 'Perfume' to read Belva Plain's 'Homecoming'...I was disappointed! All of her stuff is so good but this is a donation book for sure.

Affirmations Ten and Eleven

Ten: I am beautiful when I walk barefoot in the grass and dance like a child in the sun. I remember how it felt to be a child...so young and carefree, so innocent and inspired. I will try my best to find the child within me-she is there waiting to make amy world a better place.
The task: Write a story about one of your fondest childhood memories and post it.

Eleven: I am beautiful when I reach my hand out to others. I am most successful when I am surrounded by my friends. I will create friendships that are built on companionship, support,and unconditional caring...True friendshop is a beautifier fo mind, body and spirit. It coompletes my life and makes me beautiful.
Task: Contact someone you've lost touch with.

Affirmation Day Nine: I am beautifl when my mind and my body are in harmony. My body is my responsibility, and it is up to me to treat it with care. I will listen to my body and respect its wishes. I am my body and my body is beautiful.
Affirmation Task: Today's task is to put passion into everything you do...if you aren't going to be thrilled doing it, don't do it. Concentrate on the things that make you happy.

I published my poem to a website from I believe Affirmation Day Four...it's about Jesus; something I care strongly about. I posted it at http://www.poetry.com/poems/one-dark-night/14339060/-you can check it out.

Behind again

Hi guys-wow this reno thing takes up too much time! Ok, yesterdays affirmation is as follows:
Day Seven: I am beautiful when I am honest with myself and others. I will take time to get to know myself better-to experience my emotions, appreciate my body, and reconnect with my spirit. This is my time to acknowledge my hopes, dreams, and desires. This is my time to discover all the beauty I hold within me.
The goal for this affirmation is to sit down with yourself and make a list of the things you wish you were doing differently or the things you wish to improve (not for others, but solely for yourself) and then add ways of changing them. You have the power to actively work towards them (on my resolutions blog, I've been doing this!)

Day Eight: I am beautiful when I see every day as the best day of my life. I will not dwell on past circumstances. I will keep focused on today and be fully present in the moment...I will ask myself, "What will I do with all that the world offers me?" And my answer will be: great, marvelous, fabulous things that only I am capable of doing.

Today's task is to take one painful thing of your past that consumes your thoughts and is an unecessary dwelling, write it on paper, and bury it. Send it officially to rest. Then, do something great that you haven't done before.

Forgetful Me

I totally forgot to post my affirmation for the other day!
So here is Affirmation Day Six: I am beautiful when I speak the words that are in my heart and stand up for what i believe in. By speaking up and being present, I am makinig a contribution to the world. My voice is powerful and significant and beautiful. My voice deserves to be heard. I am beautiful when I am passionate about things I do. I wasn't born just to take up space; I was born to make a difference. I make every day count, even if it's just in one tiny way...Everymorning I wake up. I have a choice of what is to come. I coose to be beautiful by leading a beautiful life.
The task for this affirmation is to write something that can be published; a poem, and editorial, anything that you are passionate about and send it away to a paper, a publisher-anything where people will get the chance to read you words and know how powerful you are in your convictions!

Day Seven affirmation:
I am beaufiful when I make lemonade ou of lemons. I accept that some days will be harder than others. The rainy days teach me to appreciate the sunshine. They help me to grow stronger, wiser, braver, and more beautiful. With one deep breath at a time, I will move through today into tomorrow...and every day will be the best tomorrow yet.
Today's task is to simply try yoga...it's a great way to reconnect with you body, mind and spirit. And it really relaxes you and puts you in a good place!

Affirmations Five

Day Five: I am beautiful when I'm authentic, when my body and mind are at ease, and when I am completely myself. Sometimes I lose myself in what the world expects of me. I will not try to conform to what I 'should be'. I will create my own box and step outside it as I wish. I will shout from the rooftops, "World, here I am!" I will let everyone know my presence is worth noticing.

Challenge: The challenge today is simple; it is just to avoid magazines that tell you how you should be and focus on the fact that you are already who you are for a reason and that person is amazing already!

Affirmations: Day Four

Well, guys, I did it! I spent the entire day Saturday with my hair unkempt and now make-up on: It actually was a challenge because I NEVER go anywhere without my hair done. In fact, I even went into Tim's and got a coffee.



Day Four: Perfection is overrated. If everyone in this world were perfect, we would all be exactly the same. It is the very things taht make me different that make me beautiful...I am unique in my appearance, in my wisdom, and in my emotions. these are the things that set me apart, make me irreplacable.

The challenge for the day is to start a gratitude journal for yourself and everyday and for the next twenty days, write down five things you like about yourself in it every morning as you get up or in the evening before going to bed...by the end, you should have one hundred things that you love about yourself or are thankful about yourself. Good luck.

Here are mine for the day:
1. I love my hair
2. I love my moles
3. I love my self-confidence
4. I love my cooking
5. I love my green thumb

An Old Post

I just found this old post and was wondering what happened to this girl-because it's part of the girl I'm trying to re-discover now...

'I'm twenty one years old and I listen to Bach while drinking green tea and knitting. I enjoy Bach; his melodies are much sweeter than those of Beethoven or Motzart and I'm twenty one and I understand that. I'm twenty one and I enjoy homemaking. My napkins are homemade; all my furniture matches. I have a flower garden that I love to work in and I cook. This morning I made breakfast for Dave and I. I'm twenty one and breakfast for two included an assortment of homemade crepes, pancakes, orange/pineapple pancake syrup, scrambled eggs, hashbrowns and breakfast puffs. I'm not writing this to brag, honestly, because a lot of people wouldn't be happy with what I do. I'm writing this because I'm twenty one and I know myself. I know what I like and don't like and I love who I am. I'm twenty one and I'm a woman who enjoys green tea and Bach.'

More Books

Okay, so I took a break from 'The Stand'; it's good but I was itching to read something different. So, two weeks ago, I picked up Belva Plain's book, 'Fortune's Hand'. The thing I like about Belva Plain is her ability to suck you into someone else's world so effortlessly. She has a certain style I like and I enjoyed the book very much. Then, I read Nicholas Evans book 'The Loop'. Nicholas Evans wrote the 'Horse Whisperer' which was a fabulous book so I had high expectations for this one...I wasn't disappointed! I couldn't put it down! It was sooooo good and I totally recommend it to everyone. Thirdly, I sat down with Sue Monk Kidd's book 'The Mermaid Chair'. I have never read any of her things and had bought the book on a whim (plus it was thirty percent off!) It was fabulous. I was impressed and entertained thoroughly. I am now reading 'Perfume' and will update you on that as well.

Affirmation: Day Three

Day three: I am beautiful when my hair's a mess and I haven't put my make-up on yet.
The challenge today is simply to not put make-up on or do your hair at all today and remember-you're more beautiful this way because this is how God made you; make up and hair are just enhancers.
Have a lovely day.

P.S. I did yesterdays exercise faithfully all day and the results were amazing. It was like by the end of the day, all the ugliness I had seen melted away. I'm going to continue it.

Day Two: Affirmations

Well, everyone, I hope that the first affirmation was a success! I know I had trouble remembering sometimes and once I caught myself looking in the mirror and thinking how tired I looked but then I remembered that I only wanted good thoughts so I thought about all the things I liked about myself and the list wasn't too short!

Day Two:
Each morning I will smile at the woman in the mirror instead of scowling. I will be sensitive to her needs and treat her with kindness. I will be proud of her accomplishments and accepting of her faults. I will allow her to be herself. She is me and I am beautiful.
The goal for today is to pick one part of your body that you have trouble loving. Make a list of all the things that you like about that body part and everytime you look in the mirror, force yourself to look at it and remember why you love it.

The body part I choose is my stomache. I've always hated it. Here's the things I love about it.
1. The milky white color
2. It's still stretchmark free and smooth.
3. No hideous treasure trail.
4. The two moles on the left of my belly button.
5. My belly button
6. It will be my children's first home.
7. It gives me my curves.

Daily Affirmations

I borrowed an affirmation book from my grandma. It's called 'I Am Beautiful' and it's written by Diane Mastromarino. I was skimming through it and it carries such strength for those of us so fortunate to be women...but unfortunately, we tend to take ourselves for granted and even think we're not good enough, so each day, I'm going to post a new page from the book along with a mini exercise to work on through the day.

Day One:
Part of being beautiful is the knowledge that I am not just saying these words, but truly believing them.
Today, everytime you see your reflection, think to yourself 'I am Beautiful' and find one feature about yourself that you admire outwardly.

The Sky

I think what most people don't know is that one of the things that drew me back home to Manitoba is the sky. For something so vast, I find it very intimate. In all the places I've been, it's felt different; almost like it defines the mood that is set in each particular place. In Alberta, the sky is overwhelming in its simpleness. Everything about it seems unreachable, like you're looking at a painted canvass. It seems to just sit there, immovable and grand. It's also fickle, cloudy one moment and sunny the next or cloudy and cold and miserable in one town and sunny and warm and wonderful in another. When the rain clouds come in, they sweep the sky and sit above you half heartedly.
In Hawaii, the sky is too large like it's swollen too far in hopes of encompassing all of paradise. It is pastel and the clouds seem lazy as if the lack of importance emanating from the shores influences them. The horizons sparkle and blend into the ocean and the sunsets are understated and dull, perhaps only pale in comparison to it's surroundings. The rain comes in sheets from a seemingly empty sky because even the thunder seems to have trouble invading the stillness.
In British Columbia the sky is bountiful and full of freedom. The clouds swell and sit themselves comfortably over the mountains, sometimes white and peaceful,other times dark and forboding. The blue is too blue and the black too black but no matter how overwhelming, you feel strangely at ease as it encompasses you. The air is seemingly sweet and the rain is plentiful but hopeful. Life is evident in the sprawling coastal skies.
In Manitoba, the sky is so close you can almost touch it but so immense and full of life that you doubt you can. Everyday, the picture it paints is clearer, more brilliant and possibly full of more color. The clouds have many faces and the sun shows hope and possiblitly and growth. The prairies open up before it to enable us to see every aspect of the sunrise and set and it's my firm belief that making pictures in the clouds was invented in a sky like Manitobas. When the rain comes in, the thunder and dark clouds rumble omniously like a train down a track and the blackness furls in like smoke with a light show. A Manitoba sky is peaceful and powerful and stunning and is what draws me back even if I don't realize it.

Four More CDs Down

Alright,
Three more CDs have been listened to. I have listened to CD One of my Bach collection: The Brandenburg Concertos. There are so many ways that I love and respect this composer-for those who like Classical music, this is a must. Imogen Heap's 'Speak For Yourself'...I love, love, love Imogen Heap. She makes me feel punk/rock. And finally, Meatloaf's third album, 'Bat Out Of Hell III: The Monster is Loose' and first album 'Bat out of Hell'. Although I haven't listend to the second CD recently, I think I'd have to rate them as follows; album One, Three and then Two. All good though and a must-have on long car trips.

Books

I had made a silent vow when the new year came in that I would try to read a book a month.  Well, it's February sixteenth and I'm on book four already.  This year I've read 'The Reader' by Bernard Schlink, 'Swang Song' by Robert McCammon, 'Feathers in the Fire' by Catherine Cookson and am now on 'The Stand' by Stephen King.  'The Reader' was pretty good.  If you've seen the movie, you've pretty much read the book because the filmmakers copied it almost word for word and I enjoyed both highly.  'Swan Song' was amazing but I think everything ever written by Robert McCammon is amazing.  It's about the end of the world and those that survive it to create the new world.  I literally couldn't put it down.  'Feathers in the Fire' is sub-par.  It's an easy read and was lent to me by Grandma.  So far, 'The Stand' had caught my interest.  It's HUGE so hopefully I can finish it in good time.  I'm way ahead of my goal anyway so  it doesn't matter if it takes me a little longer.

I have discovered that I don't have a favorite color per say.  It seems to interchange from day to day.   It tends to linger between green, orange, red, pink or blue.  I can't seem to decided which I like best.  So I'll like them all.

Backstreet's Back

Okay, I have now listened to all the Backstreet Boys I own. Wow, what a trip down memory lane (those of you who were there may very well remember a certain concert on our front lawn at 1:30 in the evening). I hardly ever listen to them anymore but I pull them out to be reminded of my highschool years and it brings me closer to my SSS (even when we're all seperated).  My favourite still has to be Millenium, followed by Black and Blue, then Never Gone, Backstreet's Back and Backstreet Boys.  However, they apparently have two NEW albums and one just came out in 2009; Unbreakable and This is Us (both sans Kevin).  Unfortunately, I may have to purchase these as I have never been without one of their CDs...it's more a tradition than anything now-man, sometimes I hate growing up!

Riverdance

Okay, so I skipped ahead in my CD collection.  I have owned the 'Riverdance' soundtrack for forever.  I still love it.  I play it all the time when I'm writing and I have long memories when I listen to the songs.  I remember three girls sitting on a fallen tree with an old boom box listening to (Lament) and thinking of the possibilities of Cassie's writing endeavor she was calling 'Bethany's Cove'.  I guess it reminds me of our dreams and what we hoped for and that's what brings me back to it.  Plus, the movie for it is amazing.

Three More CDs Down

Okay, I've listened to three more albums in my collection-Clay Aiken's 'A Thousand Different Ways', which is just a compilation of love songs; good but I reiterate from his last CD.  And then, we have Audio A's 'Underdog' and 'Lift'-both tres fantastique and worthy of anyones valuable listening time.  I always feel amazing after listening to them.

My Reinvention

I was watching Dawson's Creek today-I realize that this sequay is less than inspiring-and Dawson was having one of his many teen anxt problems per usual...but this time, it spoke to me very profoundly.  He was realizing that he had narrowed his field of vision about who he was and what he wanted in his future and he was trapping himself when he, in reality, had a blank future before him.  In one scene, he is clearing his bedroom walls completely of all his old posters and memorabelia in hopes of renewal.  I realized that, as much as this may be a teen problem, it's also a me problem.  I used to really know what I wanted and what I liked and it didn't matter how I got there as long as I was enjoying the ride while I was going.  I pierced my tongue and dyed my hair pink and wore mismatched outfits and drank green tea and listened to the same CDs over and over because they inspired me.  I stayed up late just to write and I would spend all day belting musicals and working on jigsaw puzzles and didn't worry about tomorrow or not having time to do things.  I have become stale-I got married and have become stale.  I love my husband but I need to pull back and reinvent my single self in order to be happy with what I'm contributint to not only him, but to myself. I have had the same cut for years, I haven't pierced or tatooed myself in years (and although this doesn't matter so much, I never change my jewellry...it's been plain forever).  I wear safe outfits and listen to music mostly when I'm in my car and even then, only on the radio.  I'm not sure what my favourite band is or even what my favourite color is.  I spend my weekends worrying about what I'll do in them that won't make me feel as if I've wasted them instead of just doing things that make me happy.  I avoid social contact with people unless they're safe.  I've been invited to Band rehearsals on Wednesdays and haven't gone, there's yoga classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I never go...my dreams are so faded that I can barely see them when, in reality, there is zero things stopping me from reaching them.  I have quieted myself down and now am too scared to go out and do things.  So, I'm starting out to get them.

It's going to begin simply...I'm going to go through my CD's and find out what I have that I still want and which ones make me the happiest...I know I've discovered a love for oldies songs and the Big Band Era so a couple of burned CD's of those will do me just fine.  Thus far, I've listened to Bryan Adams "So Far, So Good"-awesome album, literally his best songs on one disc and perfect for cranking on a hot summer day with the windows rolled down, cruising in your car.  I'm currently listening to Clay Aiken's "Measure of a Man".  The thing I like most about this CD is his vocals; the words are sub-par but his vocals really win me over and I have a lot of good memories from the tracks.

And I miss Jesus-it's been way too long.

I guess, I'll keep you updated as I go along.

Don't Worry, I Still Exist

This post is, at most, a chance to tell you all that I have not fallen off the edges of the earth but have been in a holding pattern of adjustment for the past few months which rendered me absolutely unable to produce a blog post of any consequence. And while, today is seemingly indifferent, I felt like my life was swiftly changing for the better.

As most of you know, the year 2009, seemingly hit with a distaste for Dave and my life in general and we have been riding it like a roller coaster with no stop button. Our move to Manitoba seemed like a fresh slate and while it was indeed new and always exciting to a degree, it was wrought with misadventures and trials (see our Northern Escape blog for more detail). But, as I lay in my Peppermint bubblebath today and my cats gathered to keep me company, I thought over the past few weeks and realized that these trials that seemingly plagued our lives since coming to frosty Manitoba, were better and much more fun that the despairing months of '09 in Lethbridge. And I doubt it was Lethbridge, or our circumstance, or any of the bad things that mounted one on top of the other, but God's way of pushing us into the direction we wished to go but could not see.

Dave and I had grandiose plans for our future and tons of burdens in our lives that we thought were getting us there, but unfortunately, they were pressing us down and we were losing sight of the end zone. We were both at jobs that made money but were not coming out on top and I was a University tiringly moving forward and our dream home, and my theatre and my bed and breakfast and Dave's discovery of his lifelong career were second to the struggle of every day life.

Then, we moved out here when Dave lost his job because it was then that things came into perspective. He lost his job because he was not happy, I wasn't happy at my job and definately not at the University. We wanted trees and family and small town and a chicken coop at our dream house which was big and warm and cozy. And one day, Mom told me that her and Jim were moving back to the Duck Mountains and as she showed me the land that could be mine, I knew that my dream house would look impeccable in those trees.

The first few days, as always, were an adventure, but as life sunk in and Dave struggled to find work and I supported both of us on my part time job, and we have spent all our extra money on gas for the van because the Cavalier's insurance and registration ran out and we go for a month without groceries because there is no money for more, the dream waned. But, Dave and I learned to love eachother more completely, we learned value and commitment and strength in marriage. We spent nights together, listening to music and making meals out of all that was left in the house for food, labelling them and putting them aside so we knew we would make it for two more weeks. We spend entertaining evenings with my Grandma and Aunt and Uncle instead of going out. We read to each other and embrace our creative sides for lack of TV and malls. We have been using our spare time to make everyone's Christmas presents this year and we have been trying for a family of our own. And all these things, including the hardships of no money and a gas guzzling vehicle, made for a wonderful change in our lives and I feel Christmas as a time of reawakening and a promise of 2010 as a year of many great things. I am proud of us this past year; a year to test a new marriage and a new life with more tears and yelling and frustration than ever thought possible because it brought us happiness and absolute strength.

I am keeping my New Years resolution blog but will change it for the New Year....Dave and I have made resolutions these past few months for ourselves and for eachother in an attempt to make sense of our relationship and ourselves, and I am sharing mine with you on that blog. I will be updating it shortly and will hopefully be writing on the Prayer blog as well (and more often to) as it relates to my resolutions.

I am excited and cannot wait for what my future holds.

Bad Days

Do you ever have those days where the tiniest thing goes wrong and it feels like it's going to ruin your whole day? And you know very well that it in no more than a week it will feel like something that hardly happened but somehow you can't seem to make it so at that moment? I had one of those days today and I wish I knew how to have instantaneous forgive and forget in those situations. I did get over it within four hours so I'm getting there. In fact, I feel downright pleasant (if not very tired) so good day to you all.

A Very Quick Update

Okay, so I haven't blogged in a million years and my only excuse is that pretty much zippo has been happening. I finished my semester with B pluses and have registered for the fall. I am now holding the keys to the office and have been working non-stop for the last month or so. The biggest news, however, as most of you know, is that I got pregnant three months ago. Unfortunately, the news today is that I am no longer pregnant. Last Tuesday, I lost the baby through an arduous three and a half hour labour. The good news is, I'm okay but the healing process physically is a long one. My hope is, that I'll heal in good time and that by August, Dave and I will be able to start trying again. It's been a particularily long and tough summer which seems disappointing because I was hoping to get a good break in before going back in the fall. We're keeping our fingers crossed and hopefully my next blog will contain lighter news. Love to you all and blessings on your summers.

The Beginning of a New Week

Whoever thinks throwing your back out is for the elderly has never done it. I had a muscle spasm near my tail bone on Friday and by Saturday I couldn't walk straight. It is now Monday and I'm still in quite a bit of pain and I have a weird pressure on my spine. I've felt around back there and it doesn't hurt to the touch but I did feel a muscle bulge which means that I've probably got inflamation from something small and it's causing me all sorts of trauma, like fascia pushing against the muscle (the 'bulge') which is causing my spine to tighten in defense and so on and so on. I tried walking it off today and I've had Dave massage around the area so hopefully I'll get this thing beat.
I've FINALLY found someone who seems to be working out for front desk night shift. His name is Jessey Noble and he's not only catching on quickly but he's easy on the eyes. It's been a long and arduous journey during the hiring process so I'm assuming that my back thing may be attributed to stress.
School is back on full-swing now and I think it'll be good. Usually after the first week, I'm stressed and having my first mini-breakdown just by overanalyzing the work and my overachiever behavior. But this time, all is well...so far.
I'll keep you posted,

Dave had his first car on ice scare of the winter yesterday! We were travelling to Cowley for Jim to tune up both cars and Dave was behind me. Suddenly, I looked back and didn't see him. I pulled over and phoned right away and he had hit black ice, overcoreected his steering wheel and turned a complete 360 to the opposite side of the highway where he was now parked. We decided not to go any further and turned around back to Lethbridge where we had lunch at Ricky's with his parents. He went to work for a few hours and I spent my time relaxed with my writing and a movie. Back to work today to interview for the night position and I have three one right after the other-this could be an interesting and ultimately saving my butt kind of afternoon. Wish me luck.

A Lovely Sunny Day

At work again but feeling good. I came home last night to some Supernatural and time with my husband and then had a terrific sleep. I slept in until nine when I was rudely awakened by someone in Illinois. I had breakfast and vegged to 'Sex and the City' before taking a nice, relaxing bath. I grabbed a green tea latte before work and have been slowly taking down Christmas decorations. It's good.

Happy 2009!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Well, everyone, it's been a full year and we're starting in on 2009. I'm pretty excited-I had a fantastic previous year and am so looking forward to the new one. I'm hoping to post more and keep some updates happening (kind of a New Year's Resolution).
New Year's Eve was fantastic. I worked until ten but then I went home to my husband and Mom and Jim and we ate and drank and played Scattergories and Scruples finishing up the night with 'The Golden Compass'. I cooked the first big meal of the year which of course was New Year's dinner. We had ham, garlic potatoes, peas, butterhorns and mini cheese cakes. I worked in the afternoon and was extremely tired but then I came home to Dave and one episode of Supernatural and bed. I had an extraordinary sleep and got some running around done today. I went to the bank with all my holiday bonus and paid off some bills. I bought my school books for the semester and worked out. I've been at work since two and it's been a relaxed afternoon. I have cashing out to do and then I'm going to do some last minute chores and settle down with my book which I might miraculously get finished before I have zero time left. Hope to post again soon!
Holla!

Cheers Summer, Welcome New Beginnings

I figured I should do a post since school is starting and this may be the last one physically possible for me to write for awhile. So many things are sneaking up....summer is coming to a close which, for me is okay. There were a few things I didn't get out of it like camping and some more beach time, but it was good and I'm always excited by the fall. The cool, crisp morning, the rumble of school arriving, the autumn smell, the knowledge of Thanksgiving and fall wreaths. Halloween and the slow descent into winter when the world seems sleepy. It makes me content, and excited and calmed all at the same time. I am getting somewhat excited for the new school year, however daunting I know it will eventually be...I'm excited because I'm going with my new husband and at the end of all things, there are so many opportunities, my head spins. I have the knowledge that this will get me closer to a job I could do well past retirement, it will get me to my dream house which is my most favourite part of all this, it will allow me to see the world and build my own theatre house.
And, I'm getting married...a big step for me after discovering two years ago that I could care less if I ever married as long as I could have children. It's actually odd to me to think that I found someone I want to compromise some of my single freedom for but there's no one else I'd rather accomplish all the above with than my best friend and he'd help make fine looking children!
So, I guess that's all I had to ramble on about for today. Peace out.

When You're Troubled...

1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;
2 in you I trust, O my God.

Do not let me be put to shame,

nor let my enemies triumph over me.
3 No one whose hope is in you

will ever be put to shame,

but they will be put to shame

who are treacherous without excuse.
4 Show me your ways, O LORD,

teach me your paths;
5 guide me in your truth and teach me,

for you are God my Savior,

and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,

for they are from of old.
7 Remember not the sins of my youth

and my rebellious ways;

according to your love remember me,

for you are good, O LORD.
8 Good and upright is the LORD;

therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right

and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful

for those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, O LORD,

forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?

He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.
13 He will spend his days in prosperity,

and his descendants will inherit the land.
14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;

he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,

for only he will release my feet from the snare.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,

for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;

free me from my anguish.
18 Look upon my affliction and my distress

and take away all my sins.
19 See how my enemies have increased

and how fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and rescue me;

let me not be put to shame,

for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,

because my hope is in you.
22 Redeem Israel, O God,

from all their troubles!

The Sixteenth

Today Dave is taking me out on our first romantic date in months. Last week, he surprised me after work with a box and inside the box were two gifts....both jewellery (yes, I found a man who knows how to buy jewellery and since we've been together has bought me three pieces, not including my engagement ring, which is sadly at Charm right now having the wedding band fitted). In the first case was a necklace designed to match my wedding ring; he wanted to give it to me on our wedding but didn't want me to go buy something and then wear this on the big day instead. In the second box was a replacement ring to wear until I get my original back. It's very pretty, silver with three little (fake) diamonds. And, on the back of the box was a note with the sixteenth written on it. So, the short side of this story is that I get to buy a new dress and that excites me...I love dress shopping.

Greek Philosophers Day

'Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain that they are their own.'-Aristotle.

10 Reasons Why I Love My Tree

1. It's huge.
2. It offers shade in the summer.
3. It gets leaves before the other trees on the block in Spring.
4. It looses it's leaves first in the Fall.
5. It's tough against the wind.
6. It's just plain pretty.
7. It houses a few robins.
8. It makes a perfect spooky tree on Halloween.
9. It supports my rain spout so I don't get leaking in my basement.
10. It doesn't produce poplar fuzz (even though it does shed those annoying sticky things).

Happy Mother's Day

Whew! Mother's Day was a whirlwind! On Saturday night, Dave and I stayed up late making pancake batter and prepping salads. We were up at six o'clock the next morning and drove an hour to Cowley to wish my mom a Happy Mother's Day with flowers and pancakes. Then, at ten, we drove back to Lethbridge, put some finishing touches on salads and burgers and went to the 'in-laws' to give Mama flowers and lunch. Then, it was back to work for me.
Today, is limerick day, so here is a little one I wrote:
There was a boy named Dave
Who was the Kingdom's knave
He broke into the mead
And stole the King's stead
So, the sent him to live in a cave

Happy Strawberry Festival Day!

Happy birthday to the strawberry which I celebrated by baking a creamy berry dessert. Yum.

Happy Birthday Robert Browning

Today is Robert Browning's birthday so Dave and I decided to pick a poem and read it. I picked a few and I find that Robert Browning is a horrific poet (in my opinion) mostly due to the fact that his words seem only meant to rhyme and a few of his poems actually don't seem to make any sense whatsoever. And then, I found Porphyria's Lover and it's actually really good. I enjoyed it; it gives a true sense to romantic poetry.

Porphyria's Lover

The rain set early in to-night,

The sullen wind was soon awake,

It tore the elm-tops down for spite,

And did its worst to vex the lake:

I listened with heart fit to break.

When glided in Porphyria; straight

She shut the cold out and the storm,

And kneeled and made the cheerless grate

Blaze up, and all the cottage warm;

Which done, she rose, and from her form

Withdrew the dripping cloak and shawl,

And laid her soiled gloves by, untied

Her hat and let the damp hair fall,

And, last, she sat down by my side

And called me.

When no voice replied,

She put my arm about her waist,

And made her smooth white shoulder bare,

And all her yellow hair displaced,

And, stooping, made my cheek lie there,

And spread, o'er all, her yellow hair,

Murmuring how she loved me---she

Too weak, for all her heart's endeavour,

To set its struggling passion free

From pride, and vainer ties dissever,

And give herself to me for ever.

But passion sometimes would prevail,

Nor could to-night's gay feast restrain

A sudden thought of one so pale

For love of her, and all in vain:

So, she was come through wind and rain.

Be sure I looked up at her eyes

Happy and proud; at last I knew

Porphyria worshipped me; surprise

Made my heart swell, and still it grew

While I debated what to do.

That moment she was mine, mine, fair,

Perfectly pure and good: I found

A thing to do, and all her hair

In one long yellow string I wound

Three times her little throat around,

And strangled her. No pain felt she;

I am quite sure she felt no pain.

As a shut bud that holds a bee,

I warily oped her lids: again

Laughed the blue eyes without a stain.

And I untightened next the tress

About her neck; her cheek once more

Blushed bright beneath my burning kiss:

I propped her head up as before,

Only, this time my shoulder bore

Her head, which droops upon it still:

The smiling rosy little head,

So glad it has its utmost will,

That all it scorned at once is fled,

And I, its love, am gained instead!

Porphyria's love: she guessed not how

Her darling one wish would be heard.

And thus we sit together now,

And all night long we have not stirred,

And yet God has not said a word!

Robert Browning

Quick Recap

Okay, so for the last few days, we've been in Vancouver for wedding dresses, but we still tried to do our festive days. Thursday was Global Prayer Day so we jammed to some worship on the drive to the Pass. On Friday was Truffles Day and we enjoyed a bag of Lindor chocolates. On Saturday was Raspberry Popover Day so we took some down to the ocean and ate them by a dead seal (yes, that sounds gross). On Sunday was Significant Other Day and we didn't really do anything but Dave and I were in a van with eachother for fifteen hours straight! I can't remember what Monday was for some reason, but today is No Diet Day so Dave and I decided to pick something junkfood-like and consume it. I tried the new Oh Henry Rocky Road chocolate bar and it was pretty darn good. That's all for tonight folks. Peace out.

Dancing Day

Since I get off work late...there's no real time to do anything except watch a dance movie and even though this movie is pretty much crap, the dancing is pretty cool and Dave and I already watched Dirty Dancing and Save the Last Dance this week so this was next in line. Party on!

Great Poetry Reading Day

A long, long time ago when Cass and I lived together and there wasn't much in particular going on, we decided to take those silly little every day celebrations like Hug Your Friend Day and do something for them. Well, Dave and I decided to try that this month. So, on the twenty eighth, was 'Great Poetry Reading Day' so we each picked a poet we enjoyed and read a few of their poems and then wrote one in that style. I picked Ellen Hopkins who writes books like poems similar to Sonya Sones. So, here's my poem:

Kissing is wierd,

for me at least.

In the beginning

all I know how to do

is kiss and kiss

until my lips are numb.

And then it wears off

like a drug high

and passion comes

from somewhere safer

and oddly enough,

somewhere more intense.

Passion comes from

my entire body

not just the 2%

on my face.

And I think

I like it best that way.

Hello blog...I've missed you.